Monday, March 14, 2011

Empire dreams

Have you ever been fantastic at something that has absolutely no benefit to your daily life? 
I am. 
I have the unique talent of being an awesome chugger.
I can finish a glass of water in under 30 seconds.
A can of soda, even quicker. 
(never fear this has never been attempted with an alcoholic beverage, I do have limits)
I've never lost a chugging contest. 
I'm not sure that I should be proud of this skill.  
Despite this, I am. 

 In my youth I would constantly challenge people to chugging contests.
I no longer do, only in attempt to appear mature. 
I once came up with a list of ways to make this talent usable. 
It was a slightly far-fetched list, but it does hold some gems (if only in my mind).

1. When challenging someone new, make a bet, start at $50 (target the unsuspecting)
2. Start a chugging contest for charity
3. Start a school dedicated to the art of the chug
4. Create a chugging league (get a sponsorship)
5. Create some sort of chugging aid (chug-o-meter?), brand it, be the spokesperson

I have yet to start this empire, but be on the look-out. 
When I do, I imagine I would wear this empire worthy outfit.

Earrings: New York & Co (gift from friend and reader, Julie)

Necklace: Gift from friend 

Sweater and Belt: Anthropologie
Nails: Off with her Red OPI Alice in Wonderland collection

Tights: Hue (Gift from Mom)
Shoes: Urban Outfitters

 Dress: Alfani

So my dear readers I turn the question to you, do any of you have a useless talent?


  1. i think this is the perfect chugging empire outfit! those shoes are amazing!

  2. I like the purple and green together!

  3. Those NY and C earrings are really cute! Score!
    I'm a really bad chugger- it's like I forget how to drink or swallow, and end up choking all over the place like a spazz. I can almost always burp though. Okay, I guess my useless talent is kinda gross, sorry for sharing haha!

  4. You are too funny! I love your list of ways to make your talent useful and I think all of them are great ideas:) Your outfit is great too - Love the colors (especially the red nails and pink cardi/shoes)! One of my useless talents: I am pretty much a genius when it comes to mario bros. (is that a talent?).

  5. I just discovered you from Bombshell Beauty. You crack me up. And I love how your tatoos look through your tights.

  6. LOL! I love the list of uses! My useless talent is that I can bend my hand all the way flat against the inside of my wrist/hand. :) Weird, I know. Love the tights and shoes!

  7. Two birds and Rebecca-Thank you!

    Meri-My talent is kinda gross as well, so I feel your pain. I have never been able to burp on command!

    Kristin-Mario Bro's totally counts! I love the original mario bros (prolly cause it's the only one I can win).


    Julie-I've personally seen that talent of yours and it's CRAZY! Thanks for the compliments!

  8. I love your chugging plan - seriously, how can that fail? I can fit my fist in my mouth...which I'm pretty sure isn't even really a talent and it's definitely useless. Oh, and I do a mean rendition of a song I made up called Poopscoot which is sung to the tune of Footloose. That's a talent right?

    xoxo ~ Courtney

  9. omg- I was gonna say that I can fit my fist in my mouth- I think we're gonna have to fight that one out...

    um, my other useless talent, once prized, is spelling. I always wanted to get to compete in a spelling I have been replaced by spellchecker!

    Love the pattern on your skirt, and now I'm thirsty for a can of coke to sip...

  10. Hmmmm..... I don't think I have a useless talent... I will have to think about that one! I love your earrings. New York & Co. has some great jewelry. xo

  11. What am empire-worthy outfit! I would seriously venerate your shoes. And I have a lot of useless talents. [crickets chirping] like i can sleep all morning without having to compensate later that night... that's a talent, right?

  12. You crack me up. Every single day. I was Tweeting about how much you make me laugh. And it's true. So, thanks for that. Also, you look cute.